A Disclaimer For Life.

I bet you’ve encountered a situation where you’ve done or said something, but you don’t want other people to find out about it. But you weren’t alone. You were there with a friend. The next thing you say is, “Shh, don’t tell anyone about it.

Your friend nods and says:

Don’t worry, you know me. Of course I won’t say a thing!

You nod back and go:

I know you won’t but I have to say it anyway. Just to be sure.

This recently happened to me. I had a conversation with some ex colleagues on WhatsApp about our company’s Employee Engagement Survey and how it affects the employees. We were informed that our responses are strictly private and confidential (this is debatable as the last time we took part in it, our honest-to-goodness answers ALMOST landed us in trouble (how our manager found out about our responses, we had no idea). This time, we were going to charge at it, hard and fast. No holds barred.

The difference is that I’m now on gardening leave, still attached to the company but not having to go in to office. So where does that leave me? My ex colleagues felt I should still participate anyway. After all, I haven’t really left the company. June 18 is my official last day with them and I still have a long way to go. So they encouraged me to do the survey anyway.

Naturally, I said to them:

Don’t tell anyone.

Not that it mattered, though. I doubt it would. Like I said, I am still an employee. The only difference is that I don’t go in to office anymore.

Of course their response was (yep, you guessed it):

Don’t worry, we won’t tell anyone.

But it felt like a disclaimer, you know, that it makes you feel better anyway when you tell someone not to tell anyone else. It makes you feel safe that your secret stays between you and your friends. It’s a disclaimer in life that you make to ensure they tell no one, even if you know you can trust them not to tell anyone. Sounds complicated, but it’s true.

Did you ever have to say it to your friends or you staunchly trusted your friends to keep things to themselves?

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“What’s In a Name?” to Quote Shakespeare.

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Shakespeare wasn’t the only one with the question when he added it to his play, Romeo and Juliet. The quotes from the play pertaining to the question, “The name of a thing does not matter as much as the quality of the thing,” and “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet,” were not the only lines by Shakespeare.

So what’s in a name?

According to Shmoop:

We told you Juliet was smart. She’ll pretty much make herself believe anything if it means she and Romeo could be together. But she does have a point. The names that we call things are just randomly assigned by, well, us. 

But just because people gave something a name many centuries ago doesn’t mean that it is what it is. So why can’t we call a dog, a book? Or a book a dog, for that matter?

Names are subjective, it’s open to interpretation and perspective, so we shouldn’t read into them so much. And Juliet is right. Names are random. There is no reason a horse should be called that, is there? But the problem with this kind of reasoning is that over time, the names do mean something.

Imagine if you told your friend, “Oh, look at how loud that book is barking!” (when you really mean a dog), then he or she will think you’ve lost your marbles. Or, “Look how many pages that dog has!” (when you really mean a book). How does that make you sound? Names might not mean anything at first, but over time, they take on the meaning. And then that meaning sticks.

And that’s just with objects. It gets a whole different ball game with people. A name given to someone is really important to that persons’s identity. What’s the first thing you do when you meet someone new for the first time? You introduce yourself and tell them your name. Assuming you’re doing the right way of ice-breaking. But that’s because it’s your name, that’s what you’re called and it’s who you are.

Now, you could tell people something about yourself before saying your name, but we all know that’s not what people expect when you’re doing the introductions. You could think of another scenario, say you’re meeting a new colleague at your new job and you said, “Hi, I’m a book reader,” and your new colleague said, “Hi, I’m a noodle lover.” As cool as that would be, it would be kind of weird. Get where we’re coming from?

So the answer to my question of “what’s in a name?” is that it is a lot more than what people really think it is.

Which probably got you wondering, what the heck is going on here? Why is the blogger going around in circles about names?

At the risk of sounding like a philosophical buffoon, the reason why I ended up with this topic today was because of a conversation I shared with my husband two nights ago. We were driving back from the clinic (I’m still having the anxiety attacks despite having already resigned from the job) and I turned to ask him, “Why did you pick the name Nigel?” Yes, that’s his name but he wasn’t christened with it. He gave himself that name because people couldn’t pronounce his Chinese name. I have that problem too but mine’s on a not-so-sticky level.

And so began our conversation on what’s in a name, why he picked that (apparently the name Nigel means ‘black’ in Celtic language, and my husband loves the colour black — he has a lot of black t-shirts in the wardrobe) and what were the other names that could have suited his style and surname. Of course, at the end of the day, the name is just a name. But it did give my husband an identity. It’s his name, it’s what he’s known as to his friends (not so much to his family and relatives, however), and it is who he is.

By the time we got home, we ended up with a list of our favourite names. Since we weren’t thinking of having kids anytime soon, we might just bestow these names on our cats (or future cats since we already have two called Loki and Thor but neither actually respond to their names when called).

Here are a few of our favourite names:

  • Joseph
  • Xander
  • Patrick
  • Lucas
  • Jeffrey

What about you? What is or are your favourite name(s)?