Rejection is a topic that many people don’t want to hear, don’t want to talk about, nor do they want to receive in the first place. As it is very common to get rejected, here are a few ways of mine on how to deal with it.
Photo by Gerd Altman from Pixabay
Rejection is almost a taboo topic as talking about sex in a conservative society. While sex is usually determined by which gender is affected, rejection doesn’t discriminate. It does not matter whether you are young or old, male or female. No one enjoys being rejected anyway. But as long as you’re:
- Not someone people are looking for, you will be rejected.
- Not the right match to a given equation, you will be rejected.
Correct me if I’m wrong but there is no way to reject someone nicely, is there? Although, if you have found the solution, congratulations, and please tell me your secret!
However, imagine being told that you’re not the right fit for a role you applied for. The hiring manager can speak in as gentle a manner as they can adopt, but there is still a slight chance that the recipient will take it the wrong way and react badly.
You can explain, as if speaking to a child, why s/he is not the right person for the job, the one on the receiving end of the rejection may not see nor understand things the way you do, resulting in feeling affronted and there will be cause for confrontation.
I received my second rejection from a potential employer via email. Naturally, I went into a defensive mode. I was annoyed at missing out on another opportunity for a job and upset that the company had not given me a chance to explain myself further with an interview. But then I realised that, contrary to what most people believe (and yes, people actually do think about it after they have gotten rejected), being declined is not the end of the world.
Searching online can result in an overwhelming amount of advice on how to deal with rejection. Tips as far as the search engine results go will provide you with methods and ways on what to do after getting rejected. It might even stump you at some point, and you’ll be left wondering which is the right way to go about it.
Remember, there is no right or wrong way. The only thing you need is time. But I’d also like to give you some insight into how I deal with rejection. It may not be the most scientific way or that it was medically approved. But dealing with rejection is all about what you can do for yourself that you’re most comfortable with.
Allow Yourself to Feel the Emotions
The immediate sensation of someone rejecting you can be devastating, especially since you’ve gone through the trouble of preparing yourself and perfecting your methods. Yet, it seems so easy for that person to say no.
Did s/he even know how difficult it was for you? Do they know how much effort, time and energy you put into the presentation? Did they even stop to think how you’d feel with the rejection? Of course not.
Strange as it might sound to you but here’s what I’m going to say: Let yourself feel upset. Let yourself feel, just for a moment, the disappointment of being turned down. Because we’re all humans and it is normal and natural for us to feel these negative emotions.
Don’t Dwell; Start Moving On
Give yourself some time to adjust and then move on.
The longer you dwell on these feelings, the harder it is for you to get back up. Don’t let the negative thoughts bring you down, and don’t let other people’s opinions affect you.
Always remember to… Inhale! And exhale! Yes, many people often forget to breathe the moment they hit a road block. Fill those lungs with air and let it out. Slowly settle into a meditative state and think about what you can do next.
Remember Successes, Not Failures
Failure is important to spur you on but it is not wise to keep thinking about it. Doing so will only drag you down, deeper into the quicksand and then it will be difficult to get out.
All that you have done in the past, surely there are some things that you have done and deserve a pat on the back for. It is common for people to focus on your failures and bring them up from time to time, but you can always remind them of your successes in life.
Avoid getting defensive, though, as it won’t get you anywhere. Just calmly respond with a nod and say, “Yes, but remember when I did [this] and/or [that]? It was amazing and it went well. Everyone loved it too!”
Otherwise, you can always…
Pick up the phone and call a friend.
Yes, talking about it can help too. You’re not the only one getting rejected. I’m sure your friends would have been in your shoes at some point in their lives. It’s just that some people move on faster than others. But that doesn’t mean you’re hopeless. Sometimes, all you need is someone to talk to.
You can also do things to take your mind off the rejection and chill for a moment. Sleep is good but you can’t do that all the time. You can read a book, play a game, hit the gym, or just Netflix and chill.
As for me, I’m going to do something to take my mind off the rejection email. Now, excuse me while I fire up Skyrim and kill some bandits.