Making Changes and Accepting Some.

Hello, it’s been a while…

Yes, it has. Sorry for the silence. Life has been hectic what with my recent coming out and starting a new job and various other things that life decides to throw at me from every possible angle. But here are some changes in my life so far…

A Challenging Diet of Chickpeas

chickpeas

People have often talked about chickpeas as being a superfood and I thought since I’m on this intermittent fasting spree and regularly exercising every week, why don’t I give it a go. Well, I did and no matter what sort of recipe I churned out with chickpeas as the main ingredient, I couldn’t see myself adding this to my weekly meals.

Maybe it’s the way I cook and prepare it, or maybe I don’t boil it long enough to soften (there were times when the chickpeas were not soft enough and chewing it felt like such a chore!). Nah, I think I’ll just stick with couscous and the other health-food variants. They’re good enough. And with my weekly consumption of salmon, that should help too.

Actual Work-Life Balance with Elken Malaysia

This piece of news is really great for me because I finally found a job that practises work-life balance. Well, at least for the role I’m playing at the company. As a creative writer, I’m not bound by the invisible bonds that tie the project leads to accomplishing tasks after office hours or over the weekends.

As long as I am productive throughout the week and finish the work I’m given, I’m safe to enjoy my weekends and do what makes me happy.

And now comes the biggest change of the year.

I Feel Pride in My Bones – Out and Proud

peter-hershey-ZPebSsjilFw-unsplash

Yes, I finally decided to embrace my skeletons and stop hiding. I’ve been hiding and covering my tracks for 15 years. It’s time I stepped out and be proud of who I am. I realised this a long time ago, during my college years but I couldn’t come to terms with myself then. Not when honesty kept leading to my own downfall.

But I’ve been out for a couple of months now, having confided in another queer friend of mine and with her help, I’m slowly adjusting and deciding what I want to do with my future. And if anyone I know sees this, please don’t be alarmed. I’m still the same person you’ve come to know and will forever be the same person you will know. Only my taste in finding a soulmate has changed.

Amidst tears and some high-pitched raving to my poor husband, we’ve come to terms that a future together is highly unlikely. He’s decided to stick around anyway, at least until either of us have found another soulmate. We’re Malaysians and as an Islamic nation, the acceptance for anyone within the LGBTQ category is anything but warm. His solution, for the time being, will be to have a legitimate husband by my side to help me along the way. Of course, coming out and explaining to our families and friends will be a challenge. We’ll deal with it when the time comes.

One day, I’d love to find me a girlfriend and make her my wife. I’d want a life with her and can finally be free of the shackles. How I’m going to do that, though, I’m not sure. Right now, I need friends and moral support.

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