I don’t know about you guys but sometimes I feel as if I could do with a reboot. You know how hard you slog at your job to the point of exhaustion and collapse. Your brain is tired from all that thinking and squeezing. And you just want to jumpstart your brain with the very same cables you use for your car.
Although for me it has everything to do with my brain and my job. But today, my post is all about the emotions and feelings that are built in within our systems and how some days I feel as though my head, heart and brain could do with a reformat and reprogram.
While some of us are able to control and manipulate emotions to our advantage, there are the few who cannot. Not because these few are weak but because controlling your emotions requires a lot of willpower and inner strength to hold back from reacting. I’m sure there have been incidents where you felt like acting out or retaliating. From sources as wide and general as selfish road users (motorists and pedestrians) to causes as narrow and to the point as your best friend. Yes, even best friends can piss you off sometimes.
But are you able to stop yourself from saying or doing the wrong thing? A word uttered or an action carried out that you would regret for the rest of your life?
Funny I should be talking about this, eh?
It crossed my mind lately because of something I did which I usually don’t do. Heck, I don’t at all because I’ve encountered it before and I reminded myself that I will never stoop to that level.
Emotions are those raw sensations you feel when something happens. It can be a good thing or a bad thing. It can make you smile or it can make you cry. It can also make you very mad. And yours truly happens to wear her heart and emotions on her sleeve.
Something happened at my job that caused me to act out on social media and you know how social media is these days. Anything you say or do can and will be held against you. Literally. I won’t spell out the crime I’ve committed just in case one of you may catch on and happens to know the circumstances of my actions but I did something I wasn’t proud of and people have caught on. I have since done some crisis management (what little I could by removing the stuff I posted online). How far the extent of the damage that I have caused, I have no idea. But it isn’t something I’m proud of and to be honest, I have always refrained from doing it. Because I know how fast word gets out especially when you put your word online.
So why do we act out? Why did I act out? Did I want to be noticed? Was I looking for the spotlight to shine on me? Do I even want the attention? That I’ve been wronged or at least felt I’ve been wronged and want to put things right by shifting the blame to another person.
I did some research online on acting out and as much as we’d like to believe that only children have the right to act out (only because they are still young, unlike adults who should know how to behave responsibly and maturely), adults are and can be pretty susceptible to succumbing to emotions and act out, too. Small matters like a flame on a candle can easily be blown out but bigger issues take more time and effort, like a forest fire. I acted out. That’s all I can say. I had my reasons but I doubt many would bother to listen or even want to believe them.
I’m not a child but I have feelings too. After all, I’m still human.