The Joke’s On You. Have a Punny Wednesday!

scratchjoke
Image courtesy of Scratch Joke Book.

So… I’ve been doing my usual web-surfing for some pretty interesting things to share with you, and I found some jokes. Book jokes, to be precise, and jokes that us book nerds would understand. Though, I doubt you need to be a book nerd to get any of the jokes that I’m about to share with you today.

Also, because it’s Wednesday, Hump Day, the middle day of the week, I hope these jokes will help you survive the remaining days of the week until the weekend comes back. Here are some of the book jokes that I selected specifically for us book lovers:

The Sean Connery Slang

When I think about books, I touch my shelf.

A book fell on my head. I can only blame my shelf.

Trending on Tumblr

I like big books and I cannot lie.

At The Book Club

Hope I’m not being too foreward with my introduction, but I like your preface.

The Weight-Loss Wisecrack

Book A: Wow, you look so much thinner!

Book B: Thanks. I had my appendix removed.

Finding Mr. Perfect

I like my men how I like my books. Well-read and leather-bound.

The Ultimate Desired Goodreads Categories

Want to read

Want to read so much it hurts

Want to read so much I did a bit of wee

Want to read more than I want my next breath

If you don’t hand me this book right now, I will cut a bitch

The Calendar Wisecrack

My weekend is all booked.

The Scary Book Movie

And then… After they had ripped out half of her pages… They turned her… Into a MOVIE!!

Source: BuzzFeed


And here are some of the non-bookish jokes that I found scattered all over the Internet. You know that laughter is the best medicine, right? So, here we go! Happy reading, folks!

A duck walks into a pharmacy and says, ‘Gimme some Chapstick and put it on my bill.’

An Abderite saw a eunuch talking with a woman and asked him if she was his wife. When he was told that eunuchs can’t have wives, the Abderite asked: “So, is she your daughter?”

A census taker knocked on my door and asked me, “If it please you, do you have a wife?” I said, “Indeed I have a wife, but by Hercules she doesn’t please me!”

Look at all this ash and lava coming in through the door. Did anyone tell Vesuvius this is a non-smoking club?

“Doctor, whenever I get up from my sleep, for half an hour I feel dizzy, and then I’m all right.” So the doctor told me, “Get up half an hour later, then.”

Source: Reader’s Digest.

Are these the best jokes you’ve heard? Let’s all share the fun and laughter by sharing your best jokes with us!

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